I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
