Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
