My first STD was from a foam party
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
