So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
