My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
