A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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