There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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