Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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