How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
