we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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