The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
