stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
