I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
