he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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