Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
