Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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