worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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