We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
