So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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