and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
