just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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