I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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