I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
