I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Acid is not a monday night drug
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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