Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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