Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
