I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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