You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
