I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
