I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
