she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
