dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
