no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
