Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
