he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
