i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
