there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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