I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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