omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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