Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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