Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
