He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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