If that was your dad, he is hot
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
