I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
