it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
