I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
