Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize