the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
