Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
