i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found a bag of teeth...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want to make out with him forever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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