where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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