on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
