i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
